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About Deviant Nick, The GirlFemale/United States Group :iconthewriterinus: TheWriterInUs
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I am not a survivor, I
Am a weakling. I lay here
Dying in my soul. Blood
On hands, and my arms.
The truth is, who I am on the
Inside is someone completely different.
But, that doesn't mean I don't care, that
I don't love all of my friends.
Am I too secretive?
Too hidden behind my walls? Too
Afraid to let them in,
To let them know? Well,
Let me tell
You now,
In my heart I'm dead and nothing can change that.
:iconshikiyo-tenshi:Shikiyo-Tenshi 1 0
To Whom It May Concern
Dear Father
Who am I to say
That this is the only way
Except that it is how I feel
For the flowing blood is how I heal
Dear Mother
Who am I to know
That this is how I’m supposed to go
But from those around me I gain no light
And living this life has always been a fight
Dear Brother
Who am I to take
Myself from you, for my own sake
Just know that you, I’ve always loved
And in my heart you’re way above
Dear Hannah
Who am I to do
What you have always told me not to
But the pain, too great for most to see
Has slowly taken over me
Dear My Love,
For you I’ve no words
You kept back the thundering herds
Of depression as it tried to take root
But alas, I have failed you too.
Dear Wendy
Don’t you worry dear
For now I have no more to fear
And yet these words were never true
For this is something I can’t do
Dear Friends
A revelation I have had
That maybe in life not all is bad
And now in poem I have released
The monster that was inside of me
Dear Self
The pain w
:iconshikiyo-tenshi:Shikiyo-Tenshi 1 5
Fire Burns
Play not with fire
My mother always said,
And she was right
I fed the fire
And when I went to extinguish,
The flame went wild
But what does a candle know
But to flicker back and forth
And burn those around
But wait, you say
"Why shun the fire
That once warmed your heart?"
And to that I reply
"I was distracted by the flame
As the darkness surrounded me"
My only light in the dark
And I turned away
To hide the pain
And now the forest fire turned candle
Burns much too hot
As it tries for my attention
I love that little candle
But the risk is not worth
The mistrust and pain
So like mother said,
Extinguish the flame
So not to burn the house
I just don't think she meant it this way.
:iconshikiyo-tenshi:Shikiyo-Tenshi 1 0
Now That You Know
I've laid my heart bare,
I can't seem to stand.
I've spilled all my sins,
Yet you still took my hand.
I miss our closeness
And all we went through,
But I don't want to tell you
All the things that I do.
In the cover of dark
I spill out my soul,
I bring forth the pain
That can fill this hole.
Now I walk back
To my supposed home,
I have all my friends,
But I feel so alone.
And now you know,
But do you understand?
The pain I inflict
When I use my own hand.
Writing may help,
and talking does too,
but there lies the blade,
to comfort when I'm blue.
I know it's not right
But I can't seem to care,
Why should it matter
When they're my scars to bear?
Do I let them heal
Or do I dig deeper still?
Do I resort to my pain,
Or some grass or some pills?
I can't talk to mom
What would she say?
Her overbearing self
Would come straight to play
Too blind to see the hidden
My father oblivious,
His only daughter
Reclusive and mysterious.
My step-mom a witch
With her "teasing" so cruel,
Now that you know,
:iconshikiyo-tenshi:Shikiyo-Tenshi 1 0
Memoirs of a Cutter- Prologue
Have you ever heard the saying "dead people don't bleed"? It's a true statement that many can attest to, but what most don't understand is how dead a person can feel on the inside despite being "alive".
We go through our daily routine- numb to the core- and no matter what we do, we just can't seem to bring forth the emotion we know lies somewhere deep down. And it scares us, this numbness, this lack of feeling. So we turn to the blade. We find anything that can pierce our skin. Maybe at first it was just experimentation, maybe it was an anticipated moment. It doesn't matter because we feel the pain, we see the blood and we know that we aren't just chunks of flesh animated by some higher being. We have a chance to release all these pent up emotions and pain that we couldn't get out. Only then can we remember what it's like to live.
So don't confuse us for emotion seeking drama queens and kings. Yes, they're out there. Of that there is no denying. But to compare the black sheep to white
:iconshikiyo-tenshi:Shikiyo-Tenshi 0 0
The warmth of the sun as it caresses your face
The comfort and safety of a mothers' embrace
And yet the thrill of a coaster, as on up you go
Fearing the fall, as you look down below
And you hang off a cliff, but don't dare to look down
Heart in one hand, hope he won't let you drown
But don't you worry dear, he'll save you at last
From the demons of now, or demons of the past
Just wait for the one, the one who will try
The one who will love, the one who will cry
And he'll pull you right up, with a smile on his face
And he'll hold you at night, with a tender embrace
:iconshikiyo-tenshi:Shikiyo-Tenshi 0 0
Chain Reaction
Every Monday morn,
With a fury in his eyes,
He goes straight for Tommy;
A demon in disguise.
A slam into the sink,
A punch straight to his head,
But Richie never thought,
Tommy would end up dead.
The usual beating happened
Not a bit out of place,
But there lies Tommy now
As blood runs down his face.
Poor little Tommy boy,
Why he was only twelve.
How could that bastard Richie?
But never did they delve.
For if they had,
Then just maybe,
The full story ,
Is what we’d see.
Every weekday night,
With a fury in his eyes,
He goes straight for Richie;
A demon in disguise.
A belt to the back,
A punch straight to his head,
Mikey never gave a thought,
To how his Richie bled.
The beatings became usual,
Not a bit out of place,
And there lies Richie now
With cold and stony face.
Poor little Richie boy,
How dare he beat his son!
How could that bastard Mikey?
Don’t you think we’re done.
Every single day,
With a fury in their eyes,
They’d go straight for Mikey;
What demons in dis
:iconshikiyo-tenshi:Shikiyo-Tenshi 1 0
He, and He Alone
I sit alone in my room
With only Him to talk to.
He knows why,
That it's only to ease the pain,
But He doesn't care.
He loves me, and all my hurt.
All my sorrow.
All my grief.
And he revels in it.
For he knows that every time,
every single goddamn time it takes over,
I pull myself a little closer.
Closer to Him.
And why wouldn't He rejoice?
For who is Death without those to take?
:iconshikiyo-tenshi:Shikiyo-Tenshi 1 1
Just Close Your Eyes by Shikiyo-Tenshi Just Close Your Eyes :iconshikiyo-tenshi:Shikiyo-Tenshi 0 0 Untitled by Shikiyo-Tenshi Untitled :iconshikiyo-tenshi:Shikiyo-Tenshi 1 0 Untitled by Shikiyo-Tenshi Untitled :iconshikiyo-tenshi:Shikiyo-Tenshi 1 0 Untitled by Shikiyo-Tenshi Untitled :iconshikiyo-tenshi:Shikiyo-Tenshi 0 0 (To be done later) by Shikiyo-Tenshi (To be done later) :iconshikiyo-tenshi:Shikiyo-Tenshi 0 0 (To be done later) by Shikiyo-Tenshi (To be done later) :iconshikiyo-tenshi:Shikiyo-Tenshi 1 0 (To be done later) by Shikiyo-Tenshi (To be done later) :iconshikiyo-tenshi:Shikiyo-Tenshi 1 0 (To be done later) by Shikiyo-Tenshi (To be done later) :iconshikiyo-tenshi:Shikiyo-Tenshi 0 0


The druid by NightFlame666 The druid :iconnightflame666:NightFlame666 291 21 Druid by JMXD Druid :iconjmxd:JMXD 1,242 20 Kitten Druid by doodlingdruid Kitten Druid :icondoodlingdruid:doodlingdruid 1,091 135 Druid by ClintCearley Druid :iconclintcearley:ClintCearley 3,781 89 Druid by dleoblack Druid :icondleoblack:dleoblack 2,691 100 druid by vitruve druid :iconvitruve:vitruve 806 32 Druid by jasonjuta Druid :iconjasonjuta:jasonjuta 1,554 142 Ene Doodle by Rosuuri Ene Doodle :iconrosuuri:Rosuuri 6,172 179 Female Body Types Tutorial by Phobos-Romulus Female Body Types Tutorial :iconphobos-romulus:Phobos-Romulus 13,421 504 OC Redraw by eLirunes OC Redraw :iconelirunes:eLirunes 4 0 Ocean by AnastasiaCatris Ocean :iconanastasiacatris:AnastasiaCatris 21 19 I Want My Tears Back by AnastasiaCatris I Want My Tears Back :iconanastasiacatris:AnastasiaCatris 31 26 Elemental Pagan Tattoo by AnastasiaCatris Elemental Pagan Tattoo :iconanastasiacatris:AnastasiaCatris 160 31 Angel Soldier coloured edited by mohzart Angel Soldier coloured edited :iconmohzart:mohzart 20 30 I Wonder... by mohzart I Wonder... :iconmohzart:mohzart 180 37 death of me by mohzart death of me :iconmohzart:mohzart 18 13


:iconkorychi: :iconthesundragonofra: :icontiedyeteddy: :iconambitiousoutsider: :icontatsuyabocchan: :iconmylittlekeyblader: :iconaub10: :iconpeachybunns: :iconsillwana: :iconfantasyaddiction: :iconaxnlphotography: :icondex91: :iconmidnightwoffie: :iconjustart101: :iconpinky8799: :iconamuletspade13:


Journal History

  • Listening to: NJ's nightingale
You know those days where you think to yourself "today is going to be a good day", but then it turns out to be really bad because of one thing? That's today. I recently read something someone put up recently about me and I don't get why he won't understand that it was never his fault. I feel guilty everytime I hear about how he feels guilty. Does that even make sense? I told him my reasons for doing what I did, there were family problems and I was dealing with some serious mental stress,  but it was never his fault. Later on I will admit my feelings slightly shattered when I heard of the things he had done, but what he doesn't understand is what I did to myself in hopes to throw away my pain. I used to live by the phrase "better to feel pain than nothing at all", but only after this did I realize how stupid that phrase was. I would find pain in anyway I could to try and leave the gap that was in my soul from an unknown lack of emotion. I never figured out why my emotions left me, I was just so numb from more family deaths and problems with the people I'm supposed to call my parents. Now I'm ranting. I just wish he'd stop feeling so guilty about everything, and as much as it might hurt him if he ever reads this, I'm done with that boat. The ship has sailed and I don't want it to come back. I would love to be friends, and I would love to be able to confide in you, but really I have nothing to confide. The only thing I can think of that you don't know is the swelling in my heart for another and while I can see you know now, why would I bring that up and rub salt in your obviously still oozing wound? Indirect response or not, you need to understand that before we can be friends like we used to you need to BELEIVE ME when I say it wasn't you. Until then, I'm sorry. I'm sorry I can't give you what you want. You will always have a special place in my heart, but I can't stand seeing you feel guilty over nothing.. Call me selfish, call me cruel, I don't care.

Nobody reads these anyways, so it doesn't matter if I say anything to you Reader, does it?


Nick, The Girl
United States
Hello to all. I am Shikiyo-Tenshi or as known on Fanfiction Luxord's Xigbar.

Not much to say, besides that I love art. If I think of stuff to add to this I will.


Colour: Black, Red, Green, and Purple

Book: Harry Potter series, Vampire Acadamy series, House of Night series, and others

Manga/Anime: Bleach, Naruto, Full Metal Alchemist, Death Note, Soul Eater, Vampire Night, and others

Any Questions? Call 772-283-STALKER!
Or you could just message me.........

Favourite genre of music: Alternative or Metal
Favourite style of art: Photorealism
Personal Quote: Look beyond that 1st layer, often their true identity is hidden, waiting for someone to look.


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Jadesweetboxx Featured By Owner May 12, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Hi. Nice to meet you, and thank you so much for your support. Hope you'll enjoy my work in the future :)
FreckledAndFearless Featured By Owner May 9, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Thanks so very much for the watch! :hug: It means a lot! :aww:
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Thanks again for the :iconfav3dplz:.
Do check the :new: releases. :woohoo:
ASinglePetal Featured By Owner May 8, 2013  Professional Digital Artist
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Please don’t forget to comment, I love feedback and how to improve my art!

Pony commissions are open!
montag451 Featured By Owner May 7, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Thanks a bunch for faving once again!:-)
Splice-The-HedgeFox Featured By Owner May 7, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
THANK YOU FOR THE :iconfav3dplz:
TLL-MatheX Featured By Owner May 5, 2013  Hobbyist Photographer
Thanks for the Fav. on "looking up" [link] ^_^
marrciano Featured By Owner May 5, 2013  Hobbyist Photographer
Thanks for faving my works ... your support is important to me ... :)
Schpeglar Featured By Owner May 5, 2013  Hobbyist Artisan Crafter
Ninjameerschwein Featured By Owner May 5, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
thanks again for the fav :D
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